Saturday, July 01, 2006

No Longer Angry

By Walt Marston

My initial reaction to recent church pronouncements about homosexuality was one of anger. Then it turned to puzzlement, wondering how people see the issue so differently. Now I am past being angry. I think I can see why some churches and individuals believe as they do about homosexuality. It seems that our understanding of homosexuality is based to a large extent on our understanding of “natural order.”

Limited View of Natural Order

Many people believe that the natural order is a patriarchal type of order. Everything flows downward from God the Father to the princes and priests of our world (all men) to fathers as heads of families. Women are generally subordinate in this order. Some men are superior or more powerful than others in this model, and the relative worth of a person is based on his success in controlling (or protecting) those below him in the order. Gays are tolerated only to the extent that they are out of sight or at least not interfering with the “natural order.”

Of course, in this life, some things do need an authoritative order. We all like to think that things are “under control,” that some authority provides stability, protecting us and making us feel safe. But only to the extent of providing a reasonable level of safety and security, not a rigid and oppressive control of our lives.

All of this begs the larger questions. Where does true authority, real safety and security, reside? What is the real natural order? When does a hierarchical order apply and when does it just misrepresent the real underlying spiritual order?

Misunderstanding of Homosexuality

Likewise, it appears that the church and society have usually held the view that homosexuality is wrong or abnormal because it doesn’t fit a model of sex only for procreation and perpetuation of the patriarchal order. Scriptural interpretation has often been used to support this view.

However, in Bible times there was no clear concept of homosexuality. They didn’t see some people as “straight” and others as “gay.” They thought everybody was straight but that some of these straight people performed perverse or unnatural acts.

Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians refers to the sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes and homosexual offenders. However, this “homosexual offender” was not a person in a loving same-sex relationship, but rather, a person whose excessive lust was gratified with the use (abuse) of boys or male prostitutes.

Similarly, the so-called “homosexual offenders” implied in other Bible passages, such as the Sodom story in Genesis, were actually heterosexuals engaging in immoral behavior – humiliating foreigners or degrading other people. These were acts of exploitative dominance or lust, not love. The people in these bible passages were sinning all right, but their sin was not homosexuality. It was idolatry, excessive self-gratification and abuse of other people.

Unfortunately our society and media promote stereotypes of gays as being selfish, self-indulgent and promiscuous, totally pre-occupied with sex within a so-called “gay culture.” The reality is far removed from this perception. Most gay people live ordinary lives, indistinguishable from the rest of us. The sexual aspect of their lives is no greater than it is for heterosexuals. The totality of who they are is not centered on their sexual orientation. There is no single “gay culture” just as there is no single “straight culture;” however, the stereotype that is continuously reinforced suggests that there is.

The real issue is not sexual orientation at all. It is the misuse of sex by anyone to dominate, manipulate or hurt other people, or the exploitation of sex in the media and the popular culture.

The Natural Order of God

Jesus gives us a fuller understanding of our true relationship to God and each other – a way that does not depend on power relationships. He shows us that the old top-down model no longer applies. Rather, the way of the Spirit is where our real security is found. The Spirit shows no partiality, no preference for power (actually empowers all persons, not just a privileged few).

The right order is that we are all equal before God and in direct relationship to God – this is the “natural order.” Because we are all equal in God, we are also equal to each other. Everyone is of equal worth. Only when we recognize this will we treat others with the love and respect they deserve, not some as more valuable or worthy than others.

Another important truth is the infinite variety of God’s creation. We are equal in value, but unique in expression. We are all different, yet we all have the same Source, indeed are inseparable from that Source. Not only are we all shades of color, but unique in a multitude of respects. Some are left-handed (and in past centuries persecuted even for this). Sexual orientation is one of the ways in which persons are infinitely different and unique. We must celebrate this uniqueness, not quash it to fit a false notion of a “natural order.” God made us different for a reason. Instead of seeing differences as threats, we should see them as creations of God that enhance our experience of life.

The wisest among us realize that diversity leads us to a fuller and clearer understanding of Truth. The reason is that individually, and even in our limited communities, we can only comprehend part of the Truth. In community and dialogue with those who see things differently, we are able to see more of the pieces that together make up the whole Truth. It is a grave mistake to think we’ve found all the pieces and then discontinue the search or wall ourselves off from others who would further clarify the full and ongoing revelation of God and Truth. The tendency is often to clutch tightly the pieces we’ve already found, out of a fear of losing them. The reality is that we never lose what we’ve found and known to be part of the Truth; we only enrich our understanding by opening to new experience of it.

The key is love. We must honor and encourage relationships that are based on real love and caring for one another. When two persons love each other and are committed to one another, they are not a threat to society; rather, they contribute to a higher morality by manifesting more of God’s love in the world. We should encourage loving, committed relationships, regardless of the persons’ sexual orientation. It is only hurtful and hateful use of sex and power that should be condemned.

1 comment:

DJW said...

Walt,

I love this commentary. I hadn't thought about the patriarchal aspect of our sexual lives. This really gives me something to think about, and expands the possibilities of what I might think about homosexuality after pondering these ideas.

A welcome light, indeed. Thank you!

Deborah Wood